My Secrets Become Your Truth
by anthfan
Summary: Felicity falls ill. Oliver and Digg must rush to save her, all the while, not knowing there is something darker at work.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This fic started out as another trope and quickly developed a life of it's own. It surprised even me with where it went. I can't wait for you to read all of it. I think it's something special and hope you do too. **

**Enjoy, and let me know what you think!**

Felicity pushed through the heavy glass doors that led out of the Queen Consolidated executive board room and took a deep breath. It had been an extremely long day. The consultant Oliver had brought in had suggested that since the company was back on it's feet so to speak they should host a symposium with the top business leaders in the country.

Oliver had been suspicious, worried that Queen Consolidated was still considered a risk on the stock exchange and the other companies would only be coming to see what could be picked over in the future.

Felicity had shared his concerns, but the consultant had been adamant and gave a very compelling argument for why they should. So they sent out invitations to the heads of every major corporation in the country.

They'd all RSVP'd as expected, except none of the CEOs could make it. They all sent vice presidents, or CFOs in their place. Oliver wanted to cancel the entire thing, but she told him that would only seem worse. It would be better to keep everything scheduled as planned, show their guests their best, and hope it would be enough to turn the tide for Queen Consolidated.

So that morning she'd made sure she was there early as the representatives from Wayne Enterprises, Luthor Corp, the almost defunct Merlyn Global, Kord Enterprises, and a host of other big name companies made their way into the board room.

She shook hands, answered questions, made sure all the tech was set up, and sat back and watched as Oliver did what he did best. He may hate the side of himself that had to put on the fake smile, and make the bullshit statements, but he couldn't deny that he was good at it.

There was a catered lunch, a few guest speakers, and one on one time with Oliver. By the time they broke at the end of the day her feet were killing her. The man from Luthor Corp came up and personally thanked her for all her hard work. She'd given him a slightly confused smile, but shook his proffered hand and bid him goodnight. Once he was out of sight she surreptitiously wiped her palm on her skirt. His hands had been weirdly oily.

Oliver was still in his office when she walked in, he gave her a wan smile and sat back in his chair.

"I think it went well." she assured him,

He scrubbed a tired hand over his face, "Yeah, I think it did too. Just wish some of those bastards would have shown up. You'd think ten years of boarding school together would mean something."

She knew it had been an insult that the CEOs hadn't bothered to come and she felt badly for Oliver. Since he'd been back he'd been trying so hard to keep the company afloat and help fix the damage done by Malcolm Merlyn.

Felicity adjusted her glasses and took a deep breath, intending on going into one of her patented 'Oliver Queen pep talks', but she was overcome by a fit of coughing.

Her throat burned like she'd swallowed acid, her eyes watered uncontrollably, and she couldn't catch her breath. All she could do was keep coughing, doubled over, and clutching Oliver's desk for support as her entire body shook. She was embarrassed beyond belief. She'd always had the fear of swallowing weird in the middle of a meeting and not being able to stop making horrible noises in front of other people.

Oliver had been still, until he realized she wasn't stopping. In a flash he was out of his chair and around the desk. She felt his hand at her waist guiding her backwards to sit down and then he was shoving a glass of water in her hands.

Finally she was starting to feel like it was stopping, although the horrible feeling in her throat was still there. When she thought she could swallow the water without choking she took a careful sip.

She wiped her weeping eyes with the back of her left hand and took a few breaths before she looked at him.

"What was that?" he asked, concerned.

"I have no idea. Guess I just swallowed funny. Sorry." she coughed dryly a few more times and tried to clear her throat but that feeling wouldn't go away.

"Maybe you're coming down with something." he suggested, and she arched an eyebrow at him.

"There is a lot you don't know about me Oliver, and one of those things is that I never get sick. Never. I have the immune system of...well, something that has a really good immune system." that may have had more of an impact if she actually felt like she could take a deep breath.

Oliver gave her a scrutinizing look. "Ok, but maybe you should take it easy tonight."

"No way! I told you I needed to start that new program I designed tonight. It's going to do exactly what we need it to do. Do you know how much time it's going to-" she was cut off by another coughing fit.

"Felicity, go home." he used his tough voice and she restrained from rolling her eyes at him. "If you feel better later then come in."

It was a compromise, and one she was willing to deal with.

She rose to her feet, glad to see she seemed just fine and gave him a look. "I'll see you tonight." she said with a note of finality and marched from his office.

By the time she'd run by her own office to grab her bag and coat and made it to her car in the parking garage she'd had two more bouts of coughing. It was starting to piss her off.

Maybe she'd inhaled something. She'd read about that, people who got bits of their food stuck in their lung. But the last time she'd eaten was hours ago and she didn't remember any mishaps with her meal.

She felt sluggish by the time she made it inside her apartment, but she attributed that to the long day and all the hours she'd been putting in at the lair. She eyeballed her shower, and then her couch and opted for the latter.

As she slipped out of her work clothes she noticed a stain on the right thigh of her skirt. With a sigh of exasperation she lifted it up and wiped her fingers over the spot, remembering it was where she'd rubbed her hand after the guy from Luthor Corp had told her goodbye. "Ew, did he have salad dressing on his hand when he touched me?" she wondered aloud, and lifted the skirt to her nose. A faint scent of dried grass met her and she blinked in confusion. Maybe it was gasoline or motor oil he had on him, although she didn't know how he'd made it all day without rubbing it off.

She laid the skirt on her bathroom sink as a reminder to use a stain remover on it before she washed it and grabbed some comfortable clothes she wouldn't mind wearing into the lair later.

As she reached into her closet the burning sensation in her throat came back and she found herself clutching the door frame to keep from falling forward as she coughed.

Eyes watering she grabbed the nearest thing she could find and slipped it over her head before heading straight for her couch.

She'd just lay down for a couple of hours and she'd be fine. She didn't get sick. This was temporary.

Her chest felt heavy as she made herself comfortable. Blindly she set the alarm on her phone and fell asleep.

The repeated trilling of a harp finally broke through her haze of sleep. She woke up coughing, although her throat didn't feel nearly as bad. She ran a tired hand over her head and pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail.

It was already after seven and she needed to get that program installed that night. Maybe she could just go in and get it going, the set up and specifics could wait until tomorrow if they needed to.

Feet dragging, and taking longer than it should of Felicity made her way to the club. She braced herself for Oliver's admonishment.

Luck was on her side though, she could hear the sound of wood on wood which meant he and Digg were training and she could slip in unnoticed for awhile.

She sat down shakily, grateful for the support of the chair underneath her. Another fit of coughing overtook her, this time it felt like bits of her lungs were being torn off every time she expelled air.

"Felicity! I told you to stay home!" Oliver bellowed from behind her but she couldn't turn around to look at him.

When it subsided she felt him over her shoulder. "You didn't actually tell me to stay home." she countered, pulling the program up on her computer and beginning the process.

"And you don't exactly look better to me." she knew without looking he was standing with his feet spread, arms crossed, giving her his most intense stare.

She ignored it all.

"I'm well enough to sit here and run this program, ok. I'll just get it installed tonight and do the rest of the set up tomorrow. Is that alright with you?" she scratched idly at her right palm as she waited for the prompt on the screen.

He sighed heavily, "If you get worse you're leaving."

"Fine, fine, whatever." she waved over her shoulder at him, the prompt appearing.

For the next half an hour she lost herself in code. Her throat didn't hurt, she didn't cough, and she didn't feel like crap. When she was done she sat back with a sigh.

That was her first mistake.

All she could do as the coughing overtook her was wrap a hand around her ribs and try not to fall out of her chair. Specks of something dark flew out of her mouth, but she couldn't tell what it could be from her blurry eyes.

"Felicity? You ok?" Digg asked coming around to her side when she couldn't answer him.

His hand landed on her forearm and pulled back in shock, "You're burning up." he declared. She tried to tell him not to call Oliver, but she couldn't speak.

The next thing she knew her chair was being pulled back and swiveled around so Oliver could kneel in front of her. "You're going home." he said sternly, and for once she wasn't going to argue with him.

She lay back limply, feeling exhausted when the coughing stopped. Her breathing was shallow, and she didn't think she could take a full breath right then if she wanted to.

"Is this what being sick feels like? I don't think I've been missing much." she said tiredly, letting her hand fall into her lap.

She felt Oliver's fingers on hers, opening her palm and if she'd had the energy she'd open her eyes and ask why. Another set of hands fell to her opposite wrist, taking her pulse.

If she'd been capable, she'd have made a crack about both of them behaving like mother hens, but it felt too nice to just sit and be still.

"Felicity, I think you should go to the hospital." it was Digg, she figured he and Oliver had had a silent conversation about which one she was more likely to listen to in this situation.

At the mention of a hospital her eyes flew open. "No." she said adamantly, clasping a hand to her chest as she fell into coughing again, although this time it was short lived. "No hospitals, Digg." she locked her eyes on his and didn't care that Oliver was staring at them hard. There were things that happened after the Glades fell that she still hadn't told him and now was not the time.

"Okay," Digg nodded, not looking away from her, "But you're going to let me hook you up to some stuff though, and if I think you need to go in you're going in."

"Digg...please, no." she whispered,

"What the hell is going on?" Oliver demanded, unable to stay silent any longer.

"Nothing you need to worry about, because Felicity is going to be a good patient, isn't that right?"

"Digg..." she said it so softly she wasn't even sure she made a sound.

He wrapped his hand around her wrist and leaned in. "You're coughing up blood, your pulse is thready and weak, and you can't take a deep breath. You are not ok. But for now you're not in any real danger."

She gave him the smallest of nods, and tried to keep her tears at bay. She couldn't even think about going to a hospital. But Digg knew. He'd keep her out of one if he could.

Figurative steam was coming from Oliver's ears, but a sharp look from Digg and a glance at how poor she looked made him stop asking the questions she knew he desperately wanted to ask.

Digg stood up and turned to Oliver, "Get her over to the med-bay."

With a lurch she threw herself forward until she was at the front of the chair. "No." she said emphatically. "You are not going to put me on that horrible, cold, metal table where you dig bullets out of Oliver and stitch up knife wounds. No."

She must have been swaying because Oliver's hand came out to steady her shoulder.

"Felicity, I just want to check your vitals and put in an I.V. Then I thought you could just crash on the couch." Digg answered.

"Oh, well, ok then." she demurred and stood. Or at least she tried to. As soon as she was upright the lair tilted crazily and she felt like the floor was being pulled out from underneath her.

When she opened her eyes she was staring at Oliver's dark green pullover. She realized with a flush that he must have caught her as she fell and now she was in his arms.

He didn't say a word as he stalked towards the med-bay, but she could see a muscle ticking in his jaw as he tried to keep silent.

He sat her down gently in a chair and kept one hand behind her neck for support in case she took another nose dive.

"Do I get a sucker at the end if I behave myself?" she asked petulantly, but Digg just gave her a look.

He stuck the pulse oximeter on her finger and prepped the inside of her left elbow for the I.V. Oliver's thumb stroked gently over the nape of her neck as Digg slid the needle in. He taped it down quickly and hooked up the tubing.

"The I.V will help with your fever, and keep you hydrated." he said unnecessarily, but she appreciated his effort.

"Your stats aren't very good. Your oxygen levels are low." he cut worried eyes over her head to meet Oliver.

All she wanted to do was sleep. And if she was as bad off as Digg said she knew they weren't going to let her go home, which meant she was stuck there. She scratched at her palm again, annoyed at yet one more thing that seemed to be wrong with her.

Oliver's hand caught hers and showed it to Digg.

"Did you burn yourself today?" he asked, taking her hand and looking at it closer

"No." she shook her head slowly,

"Put it down on anything strange?"

"No. I was at the symposium with Oliver, all day." she told him

He reached over to the cart and grabbed a swab, "Let me take a sample and test it just in case."

When he was done she looked at her hand, surprised to see it was red and splotchy with tiny blisters all over it. It did look like she'd burned it on something.

"Doesn't even hurt, just itches a bit." she assured them. "Can I get the couch now? I was promised a couch." her head felt like it was about to pound off of her neck, the tightness in her chest hadn't left, and she could actually tell she had a fever because her eyes felt hot.

Digg nodded his consent and made his way to the equipment to analyze the sample he'd taken from her hand.

Felicity tilted her head to the side and looked up at Oliver with wide eyes. "Wagon's ho?" she deadpanned and got no reaction from him, "Mush? Giddy up?" he still stared at her like he had no idea what she wanted. She gave a loud sigh and held her arms up weakly, "Pretty please Oliver, could you take me to the couch."

Under normal circumstances the thought of her asking him to carry her anywhere would be so ridiculous it would be laughable. But right then she honestly didn't think she'd be able to walk two feet. And if she was being totally honest, it was rather nice to be in Oliver's arms.

To his credit Oliver didn't blink. He simply slid one arm under her knees, another behind her back and carried her to the couch.

He knelt as he lowered her down. Her eyes closing as soon as her head hit the pillow. He took the bag of I.V flush he'd laid over her stomach and hooked it on an overhead beam, taking the time to move the tubing so she wouldn't get tangled in it.

"Thanks," she hummed softly, "You're really very nice." he didn't say anything in response, but he draped a blanket over her and she could feel him standing next to her.

She reached out a limp hand until she made contact with his denim covered leg and patted it a few times before just letting it rest there. "You're a good man, Oliver Queen. I don't think you get told that enough." and then the fire returned in her throat and she threw herself forward, the coughing making her double over in pain.

She could feel his hands on her back, trying to give her comfort, but nothing could help her. She cringed before each cough in an attempt to minimize the pain, but it didn't work. There was a faint pop on her side after one particularly violent expulsion and a band of flame wrapped it self around her ribs. She couldn't help but cry out.

"Felicity!" Oliver yelled trying to get her to lay back down, but it was too much. She leaned forward more until her head met his chest. This position shouldn't have been more comfortable but it was. He didn't move. His hands moved gently up and down her back, avoiding the area where she still had a hand closed over her side.

When she could breath again she spoke, her voice coming out raspy and worn. "I think I cracked a rib that time."

His hands caught her shoulders and eased her back slowly. She nodded to let him know she was ok. And then he was lifting the hem of her shirt and she jolted.

His eyes flew to hers in apology, "Sorry. I just wanted to check you ribs, I think some of the herbs might help." it was the closest to stammering she'd ever seen him get.

She nodded again and he only lifted the shirt a few inches. Her eyes never left his face, and she watched as he trailed his fingers over her skin. She bit her lip in order to keep herself from making a sound. When he found the sore spot he pushed down gently and she let out a low groan.

"Sorry." he said hastily and put her shirt back in place. "I think it's cracked, and every time you cough it's going to hurt like hell. Let me go make up a poultice, it should keep the swelling down and help with the pain."

As soon as he was on his feet she realized she didn't want him to go, but there was no good reason for him to stay so she kept quiet.

She could hear Digg working in the lab, and their low voices as Oliver joined him. She hated to worry them, but then she thought back over all the times they'd come back from missions bloodied and bruised waiting for her to patch them up, and she thought that maybe it was their turn.

She shut her hot eyes, the lids feeling like sandpaper, but keeping them open wasn't an option. It was strange not being able to take a full breath, it was starting to make her claustrophobic, and she tried not to think about it. The one benefit to the shallow breaths was it didn't seem to irritate her lungs so she went longer without coughing.

It seemed like a long time before Oliver came back with the poultice, but when she blearily looked at the clock she saw it had only been twenty minutes.

"Hey," she rasped out,

He resumed the position he'd been in before and this time she pulled her shirt up for him.

"This might feel a little cold." he warned her before scooping a large amount onto his fingers and spreading it over her injury.

Her breath hitched in her throat and she swallowed several times trying to keep the coughing at bay. The sensation of his hands on her skin was over all too soon, as shortly he was draping a warm cloth over the area and putting her shirt back in place.

"That should help."

"Thanks," she whispered, fighting to keep her eyes open

He reached out and brushed loose hair from her face. His hand felt cool against her feverish cheek and she couldn't help but turn into his touch. "That's nice." she sighed

His hand stilled, and when she looked at him he let his guard down for just a second and she could see how worried he actually was about her.

"Try and get some rest." he said, and then he was gone.

She didn't have any other choice it would seem. Her eyes wouldn't stay open, and the ache in her head steadily grew worse. She slipped in and out of consciousness, waking every now and then to one or both of them hovering over her.

At one point she noticed Digg had rolled a cart over, and looked like he was seriously considering hooking her to the heart monitor.

"That's a bit overkill, don't you think?" she tried to sound flippant, but the sight of it scared her.

"You let me worry about that." he replied, slipping the pulse oximeter back on her finger and leaving it there this time.

Another coughing attack had her in the fetal position, hand pressed over her injured rib. Her lungs rattled now, and she was so tired when she was done she couldn't bring herself to roll back over.

Oliver's hands eased her down, and she caught his fingers with hers. "Don't leave." she said quietly, and then she was gone again.

When she woke, Oliver had pulled a chair up next to the couch and still held her hand. She felt too horrible to blush, or even think about it too much. A squint at the clock let her know it was late, past midnight now, and her sudden and worsening symptoms were starting to scare her.

There was a shout from the lab that had Oliver on his feet and moving. She heard snippets of their conversation. Words like 'chemical agent', 'liquid form', 'unknown outcome', and 'decontamination'.

The next thing she knew Oliver was striding towards her, stony faced.

"Get her in the shower, Oliver. Anything she's wearing or was wearing needs to be bagged. I've got some contacts at the CDC, I'll give them a call and see what we can do." Digg called from behind him.

Felicity froze at Digg's words. What the hell had happened to her?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: THANK YOU! The response to the start of this story has been amazing! I'm so excited to post this chapter. I hope you know why when you get to the end. Enjoy! Let me know what you think. **

_There was a shout from the lab that had Oliver on his feet and moving. She heard snippets of their conversation. Words like 'chemical agent', 'liquid form', 'unknown outcome', and 'decontamination'. _

_The next thing she knew Oliver was striding towards her, stony faced. _

"_Get her in the shower, Oliver. Anything she's wearing or was wearing needs to be bagged. I've got some contacts at the CDC, I'll give them a call and see what we can do." Digg called from behind him. _

_Felicity froze at Digg's words. What the hell had happened to her? _

Oliver was already reaching for the I.V., pulling it from her arm in one go, not even bothering to bandage it. The blanket was thrown from her and she was being lifted into his arms as he headed for the training room.

"Oliver...what?" she started, "What's going on? CDC? Did I hear Digg say something about a chemical agent?" fear ripped through her.

"The swab from your hand came back positive for an agent known as phosgene. Typically it's a gas, but this seems to have been manufactured as a liquid. It causes all the symptoms you're showing." he said all of this while pushing into the bathroom. He sat her on the closed toilet lid and reached in to start the water in the shower. "Digg says the first step is to get it off of you since we don't know where you made contact with it."

Felicity felt like she was moving in slow motion through a dream. She lifted her right hand and looked at the palm and remembered the oily substance she'd wiped off. "I think maybe I know." she said shakily and held her hand up.

Oliver's eyes locked with hers, and then he was right in front of her. "Hey, it's going to be ok. We'll get through this, alright?" his hand cupped the side of her face, thumb brushing over her cheek.

She nodded weakly, eyes brimming with tears. Her chest was tighter than it had been and she didn't know if it was from what was making her sick, or an oncoming panic attack.

He was lifting her shirt and she didn't protest. "Digg says these need to be bagged up." and she just nodded.

"You just need to get cleaned up and then we'll get you back on the couch." Oliver stepped back slightly, and she realized he was waiting for her to dispose of her pants as well.

With shaking hands she undid the button and zipper, but didn't have the strength to pull them off her hips. Modesty long gone, she looked at him with beseeching eyes. She'd had fantasies about being in front of Oliver with just a bra on, but they'd never been like this.

He knelt in front of her once again, not making eye contact as he pulled the material down. She helped where she could. The sight of him taking her clothes off did things to her, even in her current state.

"Come on, water should be warm. I'll wait right here for you." he said, pulling her to her feet.

The world swam. She felt like her head was too heavy for her neck, and her knees buckled. If Oliver hadn't wrapped a quick arm around her waist she would have ended up in a crumpled heap on the floor.

"Sorry," she sighed into his chest, trying to ignore the fact that he had his hands on her bare back.

"Do you think you can stand up in there by yourself?"

All she could do was shake her head no. He gave a muttered curse and sat her back down. With burning eyes she watched in shock as he tugged his shirt over his head, toed off his boots, and slid out of his jeans, leaving him in black boxers.

When he picked her up again she couldn't help the mortified tears that fell down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Oliver." she said weakly, one hand resting on his chest, fingers unknowingly beginning to trace one of his scars.

His head dipped, and she must have started hallucinating because there was no way she felt his lips brush her forehead. "Don't apologize." he said firmly and stepped into the shower.

She knew the water was warm, but it felt cold on her over heated skin. She yelped and flinched as he lowered her feet to the floor, one long arm banded about her waist to keep her upright in front of him, her back to his front.

With a sigh she gave up trying to stand and leaned her full weight onto him. Some part of her brain registered that she was practically naked and taking a shower with Oliver.

She'd never felt this weak before and it was scaring her. Not that words like 'chemical agent', and 'decontamination' also weren't scary, but she couldn't deny the facts that something was attacking her body and she couldn't fight it.

With her eyes shut because she didn't have the energy to open them she did her best to cooperate as Oliver moved her like a rag doll, washing her from head to toe, turning her in his arms to rinse the shampoo from her hair. Her head fell against his chest when he did that and for a moment he pulled her in close.

The moment was short lived, as nausea rolled through her. She barely was able to say his name in time before she was turning away and leaning over, retching.

He didn't jump back, or make a disgusted noise, he just pulled the hair from her face and supported her until she was finished.

She didn't think it was possible to feel worse, but it was.

Half-conscious she watched through slitted eyes as he turned off the water and picked her up before stepping out.

She was beginning to shiver now, deep, body wracking shakes that made her teeth clank together. It did nothing for the pain in her side.

Oliver was talking to her, she realized. Small things, telling her she'd be ok, telling her to keep her eyes open. She responded to that, catching his worried expression as he rubbed a towel over her.

It took quite a bit of effort, but she was able to raise her hand and just reach his face. He stilled when she touched him. "I'm sorry I'm scaring you." she said perceptively, and his eyes flicked to hers as his hands stilled. "I'm scaring me too." she admitted.

He pulled her to him roughly, pressing a hard kiss to her hair. "You're going to be fine." his used his Hood voice and all she could do was nod.

She felt a t-shirt slip over her head, and then a pair of soft sweatpants were slid over her legs. He helped her to her feet, using one hand to pull the pants up the rest of the way. The shaking returned, he held her tighter as he felt the tremors go through her.

Opening the door he yelled for Digg who appeared in an instant.

"Take her while I get changed." Oliver directed, and Felicity realized he was still in soaking wet boxer shorts and nothing else.

Digg cut harsh eyes over him. "I told you to get her cleaned off. I didn't mean for you to get in with her." there was something almost accusatory in his tone that she didn't understand just then.

Oliver's jaw clenched, "She can barely lift her arm, much less stand. What did you want me to do, let her fall in there and drown?"

Digg's expression softened somewhat, and then he was picking her up like she weighed nothing.

Somehow she felt like whatever had just happened was her fault. "Oliver's a gentlemen, Digg." she half slurred, trying to pat his shoulder as he carried her back to the couch. All she got was a harrumph in return.

When she was ensconced on the couch again he made to put in another I.V. She stopped him with a hand on his. "Digg, tell me the truth. What's going to happen?"

He gave her a tight smile and squeezed her fingers lightly, "I'll tell you everything when Oliver gets out here."

She sighed heavily and leaned back, trying to control the shakes so he could insert the needle. Her lungs felt a little bit lighter and she wondered if the steam in the shower had helped.

The telltale beep of the pulse oximeter told her he'd hooked her up again. "Your stats look a bit better. That's good."

"Got anything?" Oliver asked as he approached

Digg took a deep breath and looked like it actually pained him to have to relay the information. A cold fist gripped her heart.

"There isn't an antidote." he began, but that's as far as he got.

Felicity gasped, triggering a fit of coughing. This was the worst one yet, black spots were dancing in front of her eyes before she could get enough air for a breath. Oliver was next to her on the couch now, one arm wrapped around her back as she leaned into him heavily.

Digg was in the chair across from her. "Don't excite yourself." he said calmly and she nodded that she understood. Her shoulders shook from cold and Oliver pulled the blanket up higher, tugging her sideways until her head fell into the crook between his neck and shoulder. Grateful for the body heat and comfort she tried to get closer as he leaned them back into the cushions of the couch.

She turned expectant eyes to Digg, not wanting to hear what he was going to tell her, but knowing she had to listen.

"There isn't an antidote." he started again, "It typically runs it's course in 48 hours. Symptoms are what you've been experiencing. Cough, fever, shortness of breath..." he trailed off and scrubbed a hand over his face.

"What else?" Oliver asked

"It can, and probably will get worse though before it gets better."

"Worse?" she croaked out, not understanding how she could get any worse.

"The lungs will continue to fill with fluid, breathing will become...difficult, your blood pressure might drop, and..." his eyes met Oliver before he continued, "heart failure is a possibility."

The air stilled in the lair. Every muscle in Oliver's body was taut.

"Oh," she said simply

"Felicity..." Digg said slowly and she knew where he was going

"No." she was emphatic, eyes glistening with tears. "You have everything you need here, including the defibrillator." Oliver jerked when she said this and she thought if she hadn't been half laying on him he'd be pacing the room right then. "You said there isn't an antidote, or a cure, so everything that can be done for me can be done here. And if...if things go sideways then this is where I want to be, ok. Not there...please."

Digg's head was bowed, but when he lifted it he was nodding. "Ok, it's your call."

Oliver made a noise of protest and Digg cut him off. "She's right, Oliver. There isn't anything they could do for her in a hospital we can't do for her here. It's her life, she gets to decide."

The tension in Oliver was palpable. She wanted to assure him, to tell him she was going to be fine, because she knew he couldn't lose anyone else, but all she could seem to do was shake, and focus on taking her next short breath.

"Keep her warm." Digg said, "I've got a call in to someone at the CDC, they should be getting in soon. Maybe I can find something else in the meantime."

"We need to find out who did this." she could hear the rumble in Oliver's chest as he spoke.

"Oh, we will. But now is not the time." Digg's voice was deadly calm, and something important teased her memory, something they needed to know, but before she could grasp it she was asleep again.

The next twelve hours were a blur. She didn't know if Oliver and Digg had left the lair. Whenever she'd manage to open her eyes they were there.

Her condition must have deteriorated because the one time she did wake up she found herself with an oxygen mask on, and the heart monitor leads hooked to her chest. The clock said it was half past four and she had no idea if it was morning or night.

Every breath she took rattled noisily, and it took actual effort on her part. She slid her eyes to the display; the numbers weren't good.

Oliver sat at the end of the couch, her feet in his lap, his hand laying on her legs. Digg was in the chair between her and the equipment, head tipped back, eyes shut.

A long beep sounded from the machine. Oliver's hand shook her leg and Digg brought his head up, "Breathe, Felicity." he said, and with a moment of clarity she realized they'd done that before. They'd been sitting there, reminding her to breathe because it wasn't something she could do on her own any longer.

She took the deepest breath she could and regretted it. Her lungs wracked with a force she didn't think possible. Red splattered the inside of the oxygen mask. She could feel Oliver looming over her, pulling away the mask and wiping her face. But she couldn't stop coughing.

The longer it went on the more scared she got. Her vision tunneled down to only what was in front of her; Oliver.

His hand grasped hers and the last thing she heard before she slipped away was his frantic voice yelling her name.

Bright lights, repetitive beeping, and the hum of the air filtration system was what she first noticed. Her eye lids were backlit with yellow, and she knew if she opened them it would hurt. Her chest didn't seem as heavy, her ability to breath not as labored as it had been.

There was movement around her, and voices now, although they weren't talking to her.

"I think she's over the worst of it." she heard Digg say, "It's been almost thirty six hours."

Oliver's voice was hard and biting when he replied, "She flatlined on that table. I can't...I can't lose her."

"I know it's been a rough year for you, man, but she's tough, she'd not going anywhere."

"No, you don't understand. I can't lose _her_." the last word was emphatic and held all the meaning it possibly could.

There was a long silence before Digg spoke. "Oh...OH." he said, understanding, "So that's how it is then?"

"Yeah,"

"When?"

Oliver sighed, "I don't know. Yesterday? The day I walked into her office with a laptop full of bullet holes? The first time she called me on my bullshit...I honestly don't know."

Later on, Felicity would remember hearing this conversation and wonder how she hadn't spontaneously combusted on the spot. As it was a warm feeling flowed through her and she felt the corner of her mouth tick up slightly.

She forced her head to turn to the left and carefully opened her eyes.

With a shock she saw she was no longer on the couch. Oliver's words of 'flatline' came back to her and she knew why she now found herself on that cold metal table she'd tried to avoid earlier.

He was pacing broodingly at the end of the table, Digg off to the side.

"Hey," she tried to say, but could barely make a sound. He still heard her.

"Felicity," he breathed out, his hand catching hers.

"Guess I didn't die? Cool." she purposely quoted him from the night she'd discovered his secret. Pain flashed in his eyes as he let his head fall to their clasped hands. "Sorry," she said immediately.

Digg moved to pull the leads from under her collarbone, and took the mask off her face. "Your stats are much better." he told her

She licked her lips slowly and looked from Oliver's bent head to Digg, "What happened?"

"What I said might. Your lungs filled with fluid, making your body work too hard to keep breathing. Your heart gave out." he turned away as he said it as if he couldn't look at her.

"Oh," was all she could say, her thumb ran over Oliver's fingers, but he still didn't move.

"We did CPR until I could shock a rhythm back into you."

She'd never ask how long it took, and she knew he'd never tell her. One look at Oliver was enough to know it had been too long.

"So then technically I was..." she couldn't say the word though, Oliver's hand gripped hers to the point of pain.

"You're on the mend now though. Probably feel like hell for the next couple of days but everything should clear up with no lasting damage." Digg rushed forward, ignoring what she'd said.

"Good," she said sleepily, her eyes falling shut again even though she didn't want them to. She was sick of sleeping.

Waking up in the lair was becoming something she was overly familiar with. This time she was back on the couch, on Oliver's lap it seemed. The blanket was wrapped securely around her, her head tucked under his chin. His breathing was deep and even and she realized he was asleep.

Not wanting to wake him she didn't move, she stayed still, enjoying the act of taking ever more deep breaths and a head that wasn't trying to pound it's way out of her skull.

When she felt him shift underneath her she extracted one hand from her cocoon and reached up to trail gently along his jawline. The stubble she encountered was quickly becoming a beard, but she liked the way it felt under her nails as she scratched lightly. Oliver's head tilted into her hand like a cat, and with her ear pressed into his neck she could hear the slight rumble of approval he gave.

His hand covered hers and he raised it to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the back of it. Something had changed between them. Whatever barriers he'd thought had been there before were gone now, she could feel it. She had convinced herself it could never be this way with them. She'd accepted she'd always be the sidekick, the partner, the support, but no more. And what they did was important enough to her that most of the time that was ok.

"You were dead." his voice was despondent, "I didn't think we were going to get you back. You were just pale, and lifeless, and there was nothing there. Every breath I breathed for you I thought might be the last one, and all I could think was that we didn't even get a chance."

With strength she didn't know she had she sat up and turned so she could face him. Through watery eyes she took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. "I'm here. I'm alive. You saved me. You'll always save me, I know you will." he just shook his head and tried to look away.

"No!" she said forcefully as she grabbed his hand and placed it over her heart. "Feel it. It's still beating. I'm still breathing."

With effort he lifted his eyes to hers, the pain and fear she saw there was heartbreaking. "Oh, Oliver." she said sadly, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him towards her.

She held him for the longest time, more amazed that he let her than anything. When he finally pulled back she wiped wet eyes with the back of her hand and settled back down where she had been, this time with their hands intertwined.

"We need to know who did this." he said gruffly,

"I'd also like to know how and why if you don't mind." she replied. Digg chose that moment to return and she gave him the brightest smile she could.

"Glad to see you looking better." he said genuinely

"I think I know who made me sick."

Oliver tensed underneath her and Digg took up a defensive stance, arms crossed, feet spread wide.

She licked her lips and took a careful breath before she continued. "At the end of the symposium the representative from Luthor Corp singled me out specifically. He said he wanted to thank me for my work and wanted to shake my hand. At the time I didn't think much of it, but now, I realized my hands had been full, I had to actually put down what I was holding so that I could shake his hand. He _had _to shake my hand. And when I did his palm felt weird, oily and wet like. As soon as he was gone I wiped it off on my skirt. I think that's how he transferred it to me."

Oliver was quiet and then she saw Digg look at him. In the space of a few seconds she knew they had a plan and there wasn't a damn thing she could do to stop it.

"Why would someone from Luthor Corp want to hurt me..." she began, but before she could finish Oliver was setting her back down on the couch, this time without him and crossing to Digg.

"I don't care about what Luthor Corp is up to right now. Right now all I care about is finding this man and putting an arrow in him." the harshness of his tone let her know there was nothing she could say that would change his mind.

Digg pulled his phone out and stepped into another room.

"Oliver..." she started as she watched him load his Green Arrow outfit and weapons into a bag.

"Felicity. You were DEAD!" the last word he roared and she actually flinched.

"Actually all I was going to say was, could you put an arrow in his lung. It would be poetic."

He gave a dark laugh and was in front of her in two long strides pressing his lips to hers. It was over too soon. "God, I l..." he cut himself off and brushed a kiss over her forehead before he left her sitting there, reeling.

Digg stuck his head through the doorway. "Wheels up for Metropolis in thirty. Plane's waiting on the tarmac."

Oliver nodded his thanks as he grabbed the bag. He paused in front of her, his hand tracing her brow, her cheek, her jawline. "See you tonight." he said throatily and vanished.

She sat in stunned silence until Digg cleared his throat. "You want me to take you home? You'd probably rest better there."

Felicity jolted from her stupor, "Um, no...I think I'll just stay here and...wait."

Digg gave her a knowing look and she flushed. He laughed. "Now I know you're feeling better."

She leveled him with a glare which just made him laugh more. "You can go if you want. I know you've been here since...all of this started."

He waved her off. "I'm not going anywhere until it's over."

She fiddled with the edge of the blanket before speaking again. "How long do you think it's going to take him."

"It's a two hour flight each way in the Lear. And how ever long it takes him to...do what he needs to do." Digg replied and she let out a huff of air. That was a long time.

Digg did step out to get some food. She hadn't realized how long it had been since she'd eaten until she smelled what he brought back. There was still the occasional coughing fit, but they weren't nearly as bad. She napped some more. Digg had explained the trauma her body had gone through meant she'd be tired quicker until she had totally healed.

She managed a shower by herself, trying to keep her traitorous thoughts from straying to Oliver being in there with her once she was feeling better. She found one of his t-shirts and a pair of yoga pants she'd left there by accident.

When she made her way to her computers for the first time in what felt like years she was still towel drying her hair.

"Feel better?" Digg asked

"Definitely," she answered, sinking into her seat and letting out a sigh.

"Any word?" she asked hopefully

"Just that the plane is due to land soon."

"Good." she nodded and turned her attention back to her screens.

Soon enough she'd hacked her way into both the FAA's site and the TSA's site, changing flight records and tail numbers on the Queen jet. Digg gave her a look and she shrugged. "I didn't think it would be a good idea for the Green Arrow to show up in Metropolis at the same time as Oliver Queen. We should really look into getting a dummy plane, register it to some fake name with no connection to Oliver. If something like this happens again..." she didn't get to finish though because the door alert sounded letting her know he'd arrived.

She was out of her seat and halfway across the floor before she knew she was moving. He met her at the bottom of the stairs as she threw her arms around his shoulders and breathed him in.

"It's over." he whispered in her hair and she just clung to him harder.

She pulled back enough to see his face, and before she could think too hard on it she kissed him. It was subdued, and sweet, and nothing like how she really wanted to kiss him, but she knew she needed to restrain herself for the time. And they should also probably have a talk, or ten when she wasn't in any danger of dying.

Her hand tangled with his and she towed him towards the equipment room, Digg on their heels. Oliver had just begun to unpack his bow when the internal alarm began to screech, alerting them to an intruder.

Digg's gun was out in an instant, and Oliver had an arrow notched, both of them coming to stand in front of her.

All she could see between them was a blur of red and blue and when she peeked around Oliver's shoulder she couldn't keep her surprised gasp to herself, stepping fully out to get a good look.

"It's Superman!" she exclaimed, "You're Superman! And you're in our lair! Why are you in our lair? Oh wait, Oliver went to Metropolis. That's where Superman lives. But now you're here." she knew she should stop talking but she found she couldn't.

Oliver hissed her name and moved to stand in front of her again, not lowering his bow.

She swatted at his bicep and moved again. "Oliver, it's _Superman_ he's not going to hurt me!" she admonished.

"I have reason to believe you paid my city a visit this evening, Mr. Queen." Superman said sternly, "I'd like to know why you felt you had business in Metropolis."

Oliver advanced a few more steps, Digg moving in behind him. "When someone comes to my city to kill the woman I love I make it my business, even if it means tracking them down in Metropolis." Oliver's voice was steel.

Felicity's breath caught in her throat at his admission. Superman was still for a moment and a flicker of something crossed his eyes that made her think he understood what Oliver had just said.

"I've been dealing with Luthor Corp for a long time Mr. Queen. Or would you prefer Green Arrow?" Superman asked

"I don't care what you call me, but I would appreciate it if you could keep your trash to yourself." she was surprised Oliver didn't seem to be affected by someone else knowing his secret, but maybe if that other someone was another superhero it was ok.

"Lex Luthor's reach is long, and if something new has caught his attention it's going to be difficult to convince him otherwise." The way he said the name made Felicity think his past with Luthor went deep.

"Felicity is not his something new. Do I make myself clear?" Oliver ground out

"I'll see what I can find out about his interest in Starling City. I'll be in touch." Superman said and then in a great gust of wind that blew her hair back, he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Glad everyone liked the surprise at the end of chapter two. This story is definitely going to play in the DC Universe. I'm using Smallville era Clark/Superman although clearly an a/u version where Oliver Queen didn't exist in that world yet. I'm hesitant to call it a crossover as it's told from Felicity's POV and will take place primarily in the 'Arrow' verse. But it's definitely not the last you'll see someone from Metropolis. **

**This chapter deals with the mystery around why Felicity doesn't like hospitals. There are some revelations here that need to be dealt with, and her and Oliver definitely need to talk. So, not a lot of action, but I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think! **

They spent the rest of the evening looking into Luthor Corp. Felicity had practically been forced onto the couch by Digg. Oliver brought her the laptop and the tablet and dared her to try and get up. With a grumble she agreed, but only because she could still see the pull around Oliver's eyes and the way he kept looking over at her like he expected her to not be there.

Every time she coughed they'd freeze and watch her until it ended. After the first few times she stopped noticing.

Felicity was vaguely familiar with Luthor Corp. There was always the odd story out of Metropolis about the head of the company, another father and son team if she recalled. Although the stories were almost bordering on the absurd with the son coming back from the dead. She looked to the foot of the couch and spied Oliver sitting there and just stopped her train of thought. Maybe it was a billionaire thing and she'd never understand.

It was late, her eyes kept sliding shut on her as she scrolled through old press releases, and newspaper articles from the Daily Planet trying to get a feel for who Lex Luthor was. She must have fallen asleep again because she woke up propped in the passenger seat of Oliver's car with him behind the wheel a block from her apartment.

She blinked sleepily at him, "Trying to get rid of me?" she asked, her voice still raw and raspy from all the coughing she'd done.

His head spun to hers quickly before returning to the road, "Just thought you needed to sleep in your own bed."

The thought of her own bed made her sigh, "That sounds perfect."

His right hand dropped to her knee, his thumb drawing small circles that sent little sparks of electricity through her. Things really had changed. A fissure of doubt crept through her though. Was Oliver's shift in behavior genuine, or was it due to something else. She hated to think like that after how he'd acted with her, but she had reason for concern.

"Stop thinking so much." he said, as if he could read her mind.

Felicity blushed furiously, turning her head to look out the side window as he pulled into her parking garage.

As they made their way into the elevator he looked sideways at her. "Why'd you move?"

She actually stumbled at his question. His hand flashed out and caught her elbow. Heart racing she couldn't look at him.

"Does it have to do with your sudden aversion to hospitals?" she should have known he wasn't going to let that one go.

She tucked loose hair behind her ear and fiddled with the keys in her hand. "Yeah, something like that."

She pressed the number for her floor and leaned back against the rail. Oliver stood in front of her, boxing her in as he looked down at her. "Felicity, I need to know what happened." he said it gently, and she knew he was concerned, but whether he realized it or not his body language was intimidating and oppressive, and the last thing she could deal with right then was being pressured into talking about something she had spent months trying to move past.

She pushed a hand into his chest and looked up at him angrily. "No, you don't need to know Oliver. Have you considered that I haven't told you for a reason." he took two steps back and looked surprised. She hadn't meant to be harsh, but he'd left. He'd all but abandoned the city and her along with it, and while she may have understood, it didn't mean she didn't still hold some resentment there.

"If I tell you it's because I want to, or because _I_ need to, alright?" she worried her lip as she waited for his response. They hadn't been...whatever they were for even a full day and there were already obstacles.

She saw the internal debate rage behind his eyes. Oliver did not like being kept in the dark. He scrubbed a hand over his face and expelled a huff of air. "Alright." he agreed. She thought he was going to add something else but he stayed quiet.

His hand reached down to tangle with hers and some of the worry and tension eased out of her. She hadn't managed to mess things up in the span of a few hours.

Outside her door she had another coughing fit. Oliver hurriedly took the keys from her, unlocked the door, and guided her inside. She tried to wave him off, that she was fine, but he was resolutely ignoring her.

By the time it had passed he'd half walked, half carried her into her bedroom and had her reclining against the pillows.

When she could breathe normally again she looked up at him, hovering by her bed. "I've had a few dreams where you showed up in my bedroom, but not quite like this." she said before she could stop herself.

The corner of his mouth turned up, "Oh really?"

"Shut up." she said without any heat, "I've been dosed with a chemical weapon, I can't be held responsible for what comes out of my mouth."

The smile slid off his face at her words and she felt terrible. "I'm sorry," she winced, tugging at the hem of his shirt until he sat next to her. From this angle she could see the shadows under his eyes. She knew he never slept well, but she had a feeling he'd barely got any rest at all since this had started.

A memory of what he'd let slip out when Superman had arrived in the lair floated back to her. '_the woman I love_' She'd heard him, she just had no idea if he actually realized what he'd said.

Trying not to over think anything she slid sideways and looked from him to the pillow she'd just vacated. "Stay." she said softly.

He held her gaze for a long moment, and just when she could feel doubt and embarrassment begin to creep in he nodded.

With a sigh she sunk down into the covers, and watched, half in amazement as he toed off his boots and slid in next to her.

She tried to turn on her side so she could face him, but her rib protested, causing her to roll to her back quickly, sucking air through her teeth. Oliver's hand covered hers where she had grabbed her side.

"That's going to take a few weeks to heal."

"I know." she'd seen him recover from enough blows to the ribs to be familiar with the process.

She settled for turning her head only. There were lines she'd never seen before around his eyes and her fingers raised to trace over them. He watched her as she touched him, coaxing some of the tension from his face.

"I'm glad I'm not dead." she said suddenly, her voice shaky.

Oliver's eyes slammed shut, blocking his emotions from her. He still hadn't opened them when he spoke. "Me too," he said gruffly, before he slid himself closer.

"Go to sleep, Felicity." he whispered into her temple, warm breath coasting over her forehead.

She'd slept so much the past few days she didn't think she should be able to sleep again, but in the dark and the quiet with familiar sheets beneath her, she did.

She had a bit of a relapse at some point. She woke up coughing harder than she had been, her lungs feeling heavy and tight. Oliver had her propped up on his chest as he lay against the headboard, hands soothing over her back until it was over and she collapsed on him, exhausted.

Hours later, she blinked open her eyes to discover herself in the same position. She lifted her head slowly and saw Oliver looking down at her. He looked even more tired than he had before.

"Have you been awake this entire time?" she asked incredulously

He gave a small shrug and brushed loose hair from her face. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Oliver..." she said softly, overwhelmed by his care for her.

"I'll be fine. I've gone longer without sleep." he assured her, and she had no doubt that he had when he was on the island.

"Well, I'm not going to allow you to get away with that tonight." she said fiercely and clamped a hand over her mouth when she realized she'd implied she'd be spending the night with him again.

He laughed and ran a hand over her hair as she hid her face in his chest.

"I'm just...I'm going to use the bathroom, just...yeah." she sputtered and tried to not notice as she had to climb over him to get off the bed.

It wasn't until after she'd been leaning on the counter for a few minutes, reluctant to take a look in the mirror that she realized that her left hand was pressed into a wad of fabric. With dawning horror she looked down to see the skirt she'd worn that horrible day. The skirt that still had the chemical agent on it from where she'd wiped her hand.

Shaking and breathing heavy she backed up until she hit the wall. She looked between her hand and the skirt wondering if she'd touched the stain. It was impossible to tell where it had been and where she had laid her hand.

Her eyes cut to the closed door and Oliver behind it. She couldn't call him. She had already been exposed there was no point in him risking his health as well.

Trying to push thoughts of what a second exposure could do to her before she'd fully recovered from the first from her mind she looked around the bathroom for anything she could use to contain the skirt.

Her trashcan barely had anything in it. With a shrug she grabbed it, she'd get a new one, that was the least of her concerns right then.

She pinched the waistband between her thumb and first finger trying to touch as little as possible as she deposited it in the container.

Still trembling, but glad to have it where it wasn't going to hurt anyone she slowly opened the door to see Oliver sitting on the side of the bed tying his shoes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, jumping to his feet as soon as he saw her face.

"Um...my skirt. The skirt I wore that day...I forgot. I had left it on the counter in my bathroom..." before she could say another word Oliver had taken the trashcan from her and was heading for the kitchen.

"Oliver, stop! Let me handle it, you don't need to expose yourself, I've already touched it." she called after him.

He stopped so fast she almost ran into him. "You touched it?"

She was frozen by the intensity on his face.

"Felicity, did you touch it?"

"Yeah...yes. But I don't know where. I might not have touched the stain." but she found herself holding her left hand away from both of them.

His eyes cut from her hand to her face. "Go! Clean it off, I'll get rid of this."

She wanted to hold him. He looked broken. In the space of one breath she saw as he convinced himself he was going to watch her go through it all again.

All she could do was bob her head repeatedly and turn back for the bathroom.

Her hands were shaking so bad she could barely turn the handle to the shower. Unable to figure out a way to get her clothes off quickly without using both hands she just chose to throw those away as well.

She washed the offending hand so many times she lost count. The one time she coughed she heard Oliver pounding on the door asking if she was alright. That actually calmed her down. She rolled her eyes. They'd been in a shower together and now he couldn't bring himself to open the door.

"I'm fine." she managed to call out.

She finished up quickly, throwing her hair into a bun before she climbed out of the shower, grateful her knees had stopped shaking.

It wasn't until she was done drying off that she remembered she didn't have any clothes with her.

Towel wrapped around her securely she opened the door slowly to find Oliver leaning on the door frame.

He took half a step forward and pulled her to him. "I'm alright." she muttered into his chest.

His hand rubbed over her bare neck and shoulders making her skin tingle. She hugged him tighter, and then felt him tense before leaning forward, the fingers on her neck now more insistent and exploratory than soothing.

She pulled back with a start as she realized what he'd discovered, one hand covering his on her neck, halting him.

"Felicity, where did you get that scar?"

She swallowed hastily and brought his hand down so it was between them. "Let me get dressed and I'll tell you."

A look of understanding passed between them. He knew what this was about.

"Okay, I'll wait for you out there." he said as evenly as he could and left the room.

She got dressed quickly and then sat on the end of her bed. She'd kept this from him since he'd returned for a very good reason. Her stomach churned as she wondered whether she should tell him or not. But he deserved to know. And she deserved to have the weight off of her. They had a lot to figure out between them still. When the haze of the past few days lifted she wasn't sure what they'd find beneath, but it couldn't be mired in more secrets, she knew that much.

Oliver was pacing her living room when she walked out. She busied herself making coffee while he waited expectantly for her to begin.

Mug in hand, more to give her something to hold on to than anything she sat on the couch and looked up at him.

"Are you going to just stand there the entire time?" she asked

"Are you going to tell me how you got that scar?" he countered

She sighed heavily, "The scar is actually the least important part of what I need to tell you."

He must have detected something in her voice because he moved to the side chair and sat on the edge.

He didn't choose the couch she noticed, purposely or not putting distance between them. She didn't know how to take that, and then thought that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing.

She took a long draw of coffee and looked at him over the rim of the cup. "This isn't going to be easy...for either of us...there are things you don't know Oliver, things you thought..." she cut herself off, eyes already swimming in tears and she didn't know how she was going to do this. "Things you thought happened a certain way but didn't...I just need you to promise me one thing. Just one. You can't run. Because if you do then I can't do this." she motioned between them. "I have to trust that when things get hard you stay because we're better together." she couldn't feel her fingers anymore, numb from the fear of waiting for his reply. She sat the cup down so she didn't drop it.

Oliver's face was shuttered; she'd seen this look before. When things got too hard he shut down. "I won't leave, Felicity, not again." his voice was tight with effort.

She stared at him hard and then let out a long breath before she stepped over the cliff.

"The night the Glades fell I had to leave the basement. It took more damage than I thought it would and it wasn't safe. I grabbed the external hard drive, and my tablet and got out while I could. My car was buried under rubble and I was not about to take one of your motorcycles so I started to walk. I headed for CNRI since it was the last place I knew you were before the comms went down." she took a shaky breath and cut her eyes to him. He was stiff.

"That's where...that's where Tommy..." he said gruffly and she felt something jump in her chest that he was offering this up to her. He was trying.

"I know." she said quietly.

"Anyways, I was almost there when...I don't know, people were panicking. And the ones that weren't panicking were out of control. Mob mentality and all that. I got hit in the back of the head with a bottle." her hand went up unconsciously to trace over the four inch long scar that extended into her hair line.

Oliver's hands clenched as she told him this.

"I didn't know how bad it was. I was still awake and walking. I ran into Detective Lance...and Laurel. She was screaming for Tommy. Lance was the one who noticed my injury. He told me a rescue crew was cutting Tommy from the wreckage and that he'd called an ambulance to take him to the hospital. He wanted me to go with him." her heart rate had increased as she waited for her words to resonate with him.

Confusion grew over his face, twisting it with denial and pain. "What? No. Tommy was...I was there Felicity! I remember it. Every single day I remember it!" he half rose from his seat and she waited for him to bolt.

"I know. I heard you. You didn't turn your comms off. I was just as surprised. But apparently he'd gone into shock but he wasn't...oh god, Oliver, he wasn't dead then." her voice broke as she watched him.

Guilt cut a swath that physically hurt her. "I left him?" he gasped out, eyes glittering as he relived that night in his mind.

She was on her knees next to him before she could think, clutching his leg, "No! Listen to me, you couldn't have known. And he wasn't conscious any more. He didn't know you left, Oliver. He couldn't have."

He looked down at her, begging her to continue even though she knew he didn't want to hear the rest. "They didn't want to let me in the ambulance with him because he was so bad off, but Lance made them take me. I wasn't doing so well then, so I don't remember all of it. But...he woke up. Just once. He saw me and knew who I was." her voice choked on a sob, "I held his hand...it was all I could do." she looked up but Oliver was staring at the wall beyond her, "He said...he said 'Tell Oliver' and then that was it. He was gone. I held his hand until we got to the hospital and they made me let him go."

She was crying now as she remembered the sight of Tommy's blood smeared on her palm as he was wheeled away and she was led to another room to be treated.

Oliver hadn't moved, he hadn't made a sound, she was worried he'd stopped breathing until he stood up so quickly she was knocked backwards. He'd taken three steps towards her front door when he stopped. Head bowed, back rigid he didn't move. She didn't dare speak, watching as she could see the physical tole it took on him to fight the need to run.

When he started to move again her eyes slammed shut the exact moment the door closed.

He'd left.

Sobs shook her body. She should have known it would end like this, before it had even started. He was too broken. Unfixable. She knew he cared for her, maybe even loved her, but it wasn't enough. Something in her had known she would follow this path from the moment he'd walked into her office, but she'd been helpless to stop it. She'd fallen for him then. Quick and hard and without regret because she hadn't had a choice. None of this made it hurt less though.

She'd folded forward, the edge of the chair he'd vacated the only thing keeping her from ending up completely on the floor. Every bit of fear, terror, anger, and uncertainty she'd experience the past few days converged at once. Time dropped away and she was aware of nothing around her.

It took her longer than it should have to realize she wan't sitting in front of the chair, and was instead being held in Oliver's arms as he whispered apologies into her hair.

He'd come back.

Her heart lurched. The sudden change in emotions temporarily left her mute. All she could do was wrap her arms around his neck and hold him tight. 'He came back' ran as a mantra through her head.

When she could speak again she spoke into his neck, "Why didn't you leave?"

His hands stilled for a second where they were rubbing circles on her back. When he answered she could feel the vibration where he hand lay against his throat. "I told you I wouldn't. I didn't make it past your door."

She couldn't help the smile that cracked her face. It felt like it had been forever since she had truly smiled. Her lips touched his neck and without pause she turned the smile into a kiss, pressing into him over and over again, joy bubbling out of her, loose and free.

She let out a light laugh and sat back so she could see him. She wasn't expecting the forlorn look on his face. Her hand cupped his cheek, palm scraping over the stubble. "Hey, what's wrong?"

He shook his head slowly, lowering his eyes, "Thank you," he rasped out, and she quirked an eyebrow in confusion. "Thank you for being there with him so he wasn't alone."

"Oh..." she breathed out, eyes clouding again, "He wasn't alone. You were his last thought."

His eyes shut tight and the one tear that leaked out was brushed away by her thumb as soon as it appeared.

"You came back because of Tommy, right? In his name, so his death wouldn't be in vain, right?"

He nodded once.

"Then you have to start by letting go of the guilt. It'll destroy you, and he wouldn't have wanted that."

"No, I don't think he would have." Oliver agreed, his blue eyes dulled some but stronger than they had been.

His fingers slid around to trace over her the back of her neck. "This explains the scar, but it doesn't explain why you won't go to the hospital."

She went stiff, and slowly slid off his lap. She couldn't do this while touching him. She wasn't sure she could do it at all.

Felicity drew her feet up onto the couch, tucking them underneath her, studying her fidgeting hands.

"After I got to the hospital I was treated pretty quickly. Apparently gaping head wounds get priority." her lips pressed together into the semblance of a smile but he didn't return it. "They stitched me up, checked me for signs of a concussion, and gave me some very nice drugs." She pulled her legs in tighter, wrapping her arms around her knees. She could feel a slight vibration beginning to shake her as the adrenaline began to flow. When she shut her eyes the images came pouring back and she shook her head forcefully to make them go away.

"Felicity..." Oliver said, reaching out to lay a hand on her foot, but she jerked back from him. It was too much. His hand retreated. "If this is too hard you don't have to tell me."

"I do though. I need to. I mean, in my head, I know it's ridiculous. I know it wasn't real, but...it doesn't feel that way sometimes."

"What wasn't real?"

Her mouth was dry and her heart beat in triple time in her chest. "They were running out of room in the hospital. It was running off of generators, so there were only emergency lights, and they didn't have enough staff to keep up with everyone. I was...I was moved to a room. Not a regular hospital room, but it was quiet and dark and with what they'd given me I didn't much care where I got put."

She pressed her clasped hands to her forehead and tried to drown out the memory of her own screams.

"When I woke up there were...there were other beds in with me. I was groggy and out of it, and at first it just looked like they'd filled the room with other patients, until...god." she cut herself off on a choked sob. "Someone had made a mistake. There was no room in the morgue and with the elevators out there was no way to get the bodies of the people who had died down there. So..." she heard his sharp intake of breath and when his hand landed on hers she didn't pull away.

"It took me a bit to figure that out. That I was in a room with dead bodies. I remember getting out of my bed and walking past the beds. It was like it was some sort of horror film. And then...I noticed a toe tag." his hand tightened on hers, "The name stuck out, almost like it was calling me or something. It said 'Malcolm Merlyn'."

Oliver reared back, and she clung to his fingertips. He looked stunned.

"I don't know why, but I walked to the next bed and saw that tag too. It said...it was Tommy." she didn't dare look at him now, if she didn't push on she'd never finish it. "After that I couldn't stop myself from looking at the rest. One had your mother's name, the next said Thea." there was a shift in the air now as he turned towards her, her words registering with him.

"But..." he began, confused because he knew his mother and sister weren't dead.

"The last one...the last one had your name on it." her voice sounded hollow. "I...fell apart. I started screaming. I thought you had died. I thought I had lost you."

The next thing she knew she was being bodily hauled across the couch and into his arms.

"Digg found me." she pressed on, "I don't know how he got there. I don't know how he knew where I was, but he found me. All I could do was point to your name and scream you were dead. He...he was the one who checked. He made me look. At first all I could see was you. I was so convinced. I hadn't heard from you, and..." she wiped an angry hand across her eyes, "People came in, they wanted to sedate me but Digg wouldn't let them. He got me out of there. Took me back to the mansion actually. We thought...well, at that point we didn't know you'd left so we thought you'd show up there."

She'd never tell him how she spent three days holed up in his room, until Digg knocked on the door and informed her he was gone.

"I'm sorry." he said into her hair and held her tighter. "But why would our names be on there? I don't understand."

She gave a dark laugh, "Yeah, it was an orderly's sick joke. He'd seen Tommy come in and...he thought it would be funny to put down the names of the Merlyn's or the Queen's on the tags for everyone that died." she swallowed past the lump in her throat as she waited for his response.

Oliver had run because he felt responsible for what happened. In his mind, the 503 people that died had died because of his failures.

When he didn't say anything she suddenly felt overwhelmed. With a lurch she pulled herself from his embrace and jumped to her feet.

"So, there you go. That's why I don't like hospitals now. Every time I think about them I sort of start to panic. My nightmares all involve it being true. That it really was you laying there. And I just can't shake it. I mean, I know it didn't happen, and I tell myself that but...it doesn't seem to matter." she couldn't stop herself from speaking, and now she was so self conscious of his silence she just kept going. "So, anyways, I guess you have to get to the office huh? I mean, it's...god, I don't even know what day it is. But you haven't been in and that's going to look bad to the investors. I'm sure you had a bunch of meetings you were supposed to be in that you missed. Those will need to be rescheduled. It can't look like you're slipping back into you playboy ways. That won't inspire confidence." she'd been frantically pacing as she spoke, her hands flying as she gestured, or adjusted her glasses, or pushed her hair back.

She could't look at him. Once she'd started talking she couldn't seem to stop, and now everything they needed to talk about, but hadn't had a chance to discuss started bubbling to the surface. "And if you stay, we'll need to talk about _it_. I'm not even sure you meant it. I'm sure you were in the moment, and I mean, it was _Superman_, so I totally get if that was part of it. And we haven't talked about that either. Superman was in the lair. How'd he get in? How'd he get out? How'd he find us? But still, you said it. To him. I was there, but..." she stopped short because suddenly Oliver was in front of her, hands cupping her face with the most intense look she'd ever seen.

"Shut up? I should just...shut up now, right?" she gulped out, now unable to look away.

"I don't often say things I don't mean, even to super powered boy scouts in blue tights." his eyes bored into her, her breath hitching in her throat as his thumbs swept over her cheeks. "I meant it."

Time seemed to still. His words hung between them as she took the time to process.

"How? When?" she asked half in shock, and half in disbelief. He'd never let on that he felt anything for her beyond friendship.

"I don't know. You snuck in. Or maybe it was there all along and I didn't realize it. But when I thought I was going to lose you I knew it, and I thought I was too late." his eyes narrowed at the memory and she automatically reached up to smooth away the lines.

"It's going to take more than that to get rid of me." she whispered, her eyes darting back to his lips, wishing he would kiss her again.

His mouth turned up slightly as he leaned in closer, "I'm going to hold you to that."

He was taking too long. Felicity rose on her toes and closed the gap between them.

She felt like this was the first time she'd really kissed him. Not in relief, or as a goodbye, but as just the two of them, in the moment, wanting it for the same reason.

He moved slowly, carefully, taking his time, and she was fine with that. Her stomach flipped deliciously when he pulled her hair from it's loose bun and buried his fingers in it. When she gasped he slipped his tongue inside, stroking it along hers, tasting and nipping until she thought she would melt from the heat that grew steadily in her belly.

He pressed small kisses along her jaw, up her temple and across her forehead until she let out a contented sigh and leaned into him, humming happily.

"I do need to get back. Digg or I will pick you up later." he whispered into her hair, as his thumb trailed over her bottom lip, sending sparks through her.

"Don't try and distract me." she admonished lightly, taking his hand in hers. "I am perfectly capable of coming in on my own."

"Felicity, someone tried to hurt you. There may be more. I'm not taking any chances." his voice was low and serious, "And you're getting a new security system." he said, nodding towards her front door, "That one's not near good enough."

She sighed heavily and nodded her acquiescence before giving him a sly smile. "I think you make a pretty good security system."

She was rewarded with a grin. "I will be more than happy to be your security system or anything else you need, but I can't be here all the time."

"I know." she breathed out, looping her arms around his neck one more time. She brushed a kiss on his lips, still partly amazed she was doing it. "I'll see you later."

When the door was shut and locked behind him she leaned against it, letting out a long exhale as she studied her apartment. It looked foreign to her now. Everything did. It was cliched, and tried, but everything had changed.

She was seeing the world with new eyes now. Eyes that had seen death, held it's hand, and been brought back with electricity and maybe the will of another heart.

She still wasn't sure about Oliver. She wanted to be. More than anything she wanted to believe him. The one thing she was sure of, she wasn't going to let it go without a fight. She wanted it too badly. She thought he did too, but he might not always handle it the best. So she'd handle it for him if she had to. Even if it meant things got worse before they got better.

And then she still had the trouble of trying to figure out why Lex Luthor wanted her out of the picture.

Funny how less than two years ago she'd thought her life was boring.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the awesome reviews! Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think. **

Felicity was one hour into a detailed research session when a chime from the security monitors caught her attention. One of the motion activated cameras attached to Verdant's exterior had gone off. When she pulled the feed up on the screen she saw two people at the front door of the club, at ten in the morning, on a Saturday.

Her brows drew together in confusion as she zoomed in to get a better look. All deliveries were made around back, there was nothing scheduled for the day that she was aware of, and these two didn't look like they were there to apply for a job.

The woman had long dark hair, was dressed professionally, and drummed impatient fingers on her crossed arm as she spoke to the man next to her. He was tall, wearing a suit and tie, and because Felicity had installed top of the line cameras it was obvious he was not bad to look at.

They were looking around the door frame, standing back to peer around the windows when the woman caught sight of the camera. She elbowed the man in the side and gave a little wave to the lens, flashing her partner a quick smile. Whatever she said made him give her a long suffering look and nod his head.

When the woman waved again Felicity realized with a jolt she'd been sitting there just watching them. She was on her feet and halfway up the stairs before she stopped and wondered if she should mention it to Oliver and Digg who were in the back training.

With a shake of her head she continued on. The people at the door were probably just lost, she'd send them on their way and be back at her desk before the boys even knew she'd been missing.

When she reached the club she could hear pounding. Apparently whoever they were they hadn't been content to wait quietly.

Her heels echoed across the empty dance floor. Muted sunlight lit up the space, making it look altogether different than it did at night. A thread of apprehension went through her as she approached the door and the pounding continued. She hoped she wouldn't regret her decision as she pulled the floor locks and threw the deadbolt.

The man turned expectantly as she opened the door. The woman had her phone up to her ear and had stepped a few feet away.

"I told you Chief, this place looks like a war zone! Reconstruction is apparently a foreign concept to these people because the place looks like it was just nuked and left for dead." the woman said into her phone as she looked up and saw Felicity. She gave her a tight smile and held up one finger.

Felicity turned to the man instead. "Can I help you?"

"Hi, sorry to stop by unannounced." he said with a charming smile and blue eyes that twinkled behind dark rimmed glasses. "I'm Clark Kent, from the Daily Planet-" the woman dropped her phone back in her bag and rushed over, moving in front of him and sticking her hand out. "And I'm Lois Lane." Felicity went to shake it automatically and then stopped, curling her fingers back into her palm. After her experience a two weeks ago she wasn't about to shake hands with a stranger.

"Sorry, I'm a germophobe" Felicity said by way of explanation.

The woman named Lois merely brushed her off with a wave of her hand. "Hi, so we're here on assignment, looking at the reconstruction of the Glades. We have reason to believe..." she didn't get a chance to finish. A sharp noise from down the street reverberated under the metal awning of the club's entrance. It could have been a car backfire, or a noise from nearby construction, or a gun shot.

Clark obviously thought it had been the latter. In a move so fast Felicity swore she saw nothing Clark was suddenly behind Lois, crowding her in towards the doorway with his hands at her waist.

Lois looked at him with wide eyes and the beginning of a grimace. Felicity looked at him curiously. When his eyes met hers he gave her a sheepish grin and pushed his glasses up his nose before stepping back. "Sorry, I guess I stumbled." he said unconvincingly

"No problem, Smallville, just keep your feet underneath yourself and we'll be just fine." Lois said, her voice slightly strained.

His eyes cut over Lois and just for a second Felicity saw something cross his expression that looked familiar. She tilted her head and considered him for a moment before it hit her with stunning clarity.

Mouth dry, and heart pounding she stepped back into the club and pulled the door open wide. "You, uh...you two should come inside."

She saw them exchange a worried glance, and as they passed her she noted his height and the breadth of shoulders that wasn't exactly hidden beneath his suit jacket.

When she relocked the doors she turned an appraising eye on them; him especially. "Thank you for knocking this time. It took me hours to reset my system after your last visit."

Lois gave a small gasp. Clark merely looked to the floor and shook his head. When he raised his eyes she knew without a doubt she was looking at Superman. "Sorry Ms. Smoak, perhaps we can arrange a special entrance for the future."

"I'm afraid that's not my call to make. I'm just the sidekick."

"I think you're more than that." he countered and she felt her cheeks flush,

"How'd you figure it out?" Lois asked after a moment of silence, there was something in her tone that Felicity couldn't quite place.

"Uh when Sup... um...well, when he was here before Oliv...Green... Crap!" she cut herself off and rubbed a hand over her forehead before continuing. "Something was said and, it was just for a second, but a look crossed his face. I saw that same look just now when he thought you were in danger."

Felicity gave a little shrug and looked at them. Some of the tension fell from Lois's shoulders. "Clark told me you work with Green Arrow, it's Felicity, right?" she said confidently, now that the pretenses were over Lois wasn't going to pull any punches.

"That's right." Felicity confirmed, now wishing she'd brought Oliver up here with her. She had no idea how he wanted to handle this.

"Then welcome to the 'Almost killed by the Luthor's club'. We have meetings the third Wednesday of every month, the coffee sucks, but the food's great." Lois said with a comically large smile, obviously trying to bring some levity to the situation.

Felicity let out a short laugh and tried to cover it up. "I take it that means you've been on the receiving end then?"

"More than once." Lois confirmed, Clark moved half a step closer and she gave him a private smile meant only for him. There was no doubt they were together. Felicity saw the sparkle of an engagement ring on Lois's hand, which sent her mind whirling. Superman had a fiance. He had a life. He had a job, and wore a tie, and glasses. The glasses probably weren't necessary though. But he seemed to have built two separate lives that worked for him. She wondered how he'd managed to do that so well.

"So, we are here for a story, that's true. But we'd also like to talk to Mr. Queen." Clark said

Felicity swallowed hard and shut her eyes tight. She should have definitely brought Oliver up here with her.

"Mr. Kent," she began, wondering if that's how she should address him, but she knew Oliver didn't like being called 'Green Arrow' unless he was wearing the suit and even then it was only out of necessity.

"Clark, please." he insisted and she nodded

"Clark, you have to understand, Oliver is an extremely private person. You showing up the way you did last time with no notice, and now again, even though you knocked... which is very much appreciated, like I said... but, anyways, he's not exactly used to working with others. I mean he's got me, and Digg, but I mean others like...you, and him. And I know there are more but we're keeping it local for now. Well, except for the whole going to Metropolis to put an arrow in that guy thing. But that was strictly one off, I promise. If he hadn't of tried to kill me Oliver would have never done that." both Lois and Clark's eyes had gradually widened as she talked until they were outright gaping at her. She shut her mouth tight and clasped her hands in front of her waiting for one of them to speak.

"Wow. You sure you don't have any superpowers because that was impressive." Lois said first and then smacked a hand across Clark's chest, "And you said I talk a lot, Smallville."

Clark gave Lois a look and turned back to Felicity. "I understand your concerns, and his. Trust me, I'm no stranger to keeping half my life private. But we have information regarding Luthor Corp and the reason Green Arrow came to Metropolis."

A shiver went through her at the mention, and she appreciated that he didn't say the reason directly. She'd found she could talk about it herself, but if Oliver or Digg brought it up she was on the fast track to a panic attack.

She took a deep breath and set her shoulders before making a decision. "Alright, you'd better follow me then."

She hesitated one last time before she punched in her code and pushed open the door.

"Welcome to our lair." she said, "It's not much, but it's home."

As the reached the bottom she stepped to the side and watched as Lois looked around. There was an appreciative gleam in her eye. "Reminds me of Watchtower." she said to Clark who gave her a small nod.

"They're in the back, training." she said, pointing to where you could already hear the sounds of the wooden judo sticks striking each other. Great. Oliver was amped up on endorphins, and a good, long workout. She had a feeling she was about to seriously regret her decision to bring them down.

Two steps towards the training room she stopped and turned around to see them on her heels. "Um, why don't you just stay here for right now and let me break the news first. That might be the safest option for everyone."

Clark nodded, and Lois continued to look around, cutting her eyes over where Oliver's suit stood in the case and then to the table where the arrows in production were kept. As she began to wander over Felicity called out. "Don't touch anything. Please." Lois held her hands up and gave Felicity an innocent expression that she somehow didn't trust.

Felicity slid the door open to the training room and stepped inside, making to shut the door behind her, something she didn't typically do.

Oliver finished up the next set of moves and then gave her his attention, "Hey, did you find something?" he said, panting slightly. You'd think she'd get over the sight of him shirtless and sweaty, but she never did.

"Um, well, you could say that." she said, trying to keep the nervousness out of her voice.

Oliver and Digg had made their way over to grab towels and bottles of water. Digg easily caught the stick Oliver tossed his way and put them away.

As Oliver approached her she wondered how she was going to tell him. When he was in front of her he was looking at her strangely. "What's wrong?" he asked, fingers reaching out to stroke along her forearm.

She held his eyes as she talked, "Do you trust me?"

"Of course," he answered immediately "But you're starting to worry me."

"I need you to trust me, and trust my judgement, and promise not to yell too loud when I tell you. Ok?" she bit her lip and looked up at him over the edge of her glasses.

Digg came up behind Oliver and she hoped he didn't react poorly as well.

"Felicity..." Oliver said low, almost a growl. She took a deep breath and decided to just dive in.

"Superman is back. But he's not here as Superman, he's here as his Oliver type person, except his name isn't Oliver, obviously, that would be weird. His name is Clark. Clark Kent and he's here with his partner, and fiance, or maybe they're married I didn't ask. Her name's Lois Lane, the reporter from the Daily Planet. I'm sure you've heard of her. I figured out Clark was Superman, but I don't think he meant for me to. He seemed pretty surprised I did, and they said they have information about Luthor Corp, and...how mad are you?"

Oliver's face had steadily grown harder as she'd relayed her information. The silence in the room was deafening.

Slowly, and methodically Oliver handed the towel and water to Digg who had jumped to attention as soon as she'd started talking. Then Oliver leveled her with a look that froze her in place. "There are two people in my lair. Two people who know my identity. Two people who are reporters."

She gave him a nervous smile and nodded, "But you know his identity so it's kind of a fair trade." she said quickly.

The rumble that emerged from Oliver's chest made her think he didn't agree. Then he was brushing past her and heading out of the room.

"Oliver!" she called and rushed to catch up, just managing to grab hold of his bicep as he opened the door and stepped out. Her feet were moving as fast as they could in her heels and skirt.

He came to a halt six feet from their visitors. Lois hastily dropped an arrow she'd been fiddling with and gave an apologetic shrug. Clark stood at ease, attempting to not look imposing which was almost impossible.

The tension rolling off of Oliver was almost palpable. Neither of them said a word. It was Lois's long whistle of appreciation as she caught sight of both Oliver and Digg that broke the silence.

Clark hesitated a beat and then slid his eyes to her in amazement. "What?" she said and waggled her ring finger at him, "This doesn't say I can't look, honey."

He seemed to suppress a sigh and then faced Oliver, "Mr. Queen, I apologize for coming without calling, but we have information."

"Mr. Kent, I'm more concerned about why you thought you could just walk in here with your friend without telling us who you were." Oliver said bitingly

"Oliver, I'm sure they weren't trying to trick us." Felicity said quickly, although she had to agree it was a bit suspicious.

"How'd they get in?" Oliver asked, clearly expecting her to say they'd just appeared.

"They knocked on the door." she answered immediately

"Oh, so you do have manners then. Your little trick last time took her hours to fix." Oliver spat

Clark ran a hand through his dark hair and looked towards Felicity, "I've already apologized to Felicity for that."

"First names? How cozy." Oliver said sardonically, stepping forward another step so her hand fell off his arm. "If you recall she wasn't exactly well when that happened. The last thing she needed to worry about was redoing something that hadn't been broken until you showed up. And she wasn't well because some psychopath from YOUR city decided to come here and kill her!" he roared and took another step forward.

Felicity jumped at his words and was grateful when Digg came to flank her, his unspoken support was comforting.

"And if I recall you took care of that problem by coming to MY city and killing a man in cold blood." Clark bit back, for the first time showing something other than a stoic face.

"You're damn straight, and I'd do it again." Oliver said immediately

"Then we may have a problem, Mr. Queen. Because I don't kill people."

"Well we can't all be boy scouts, can we." Oliver retorted with a sneer, causing Lois to step forward.

"Hey, Growly Green Giant, you don't get to judge him. The rules he lives by are necessary. You really want to consider what someone with his powers would do if they _didn't_ have any. Trust me, you don't want to find out!" Lois was almost toe to toe with Oliver

"And you want me to believe that if you were killed, he'd stand by and do the right thing? The just thing? I have a hard time believing that."

"He would. He has." her eyes flashed as she faced off against him.

"And you, if it was him that was hurt instead?" Oliver pushed,

"No, I know I'd kill them. In a heartbeat. Lucky for the world, I'm not him." she said without hesitation.

Felicity put a hand on Oliver's chest and pushed him backwards, slipping into the spot she'd made him vacate.

"Look, this isn't getting us anywhere. You said you had information." Felicity said, focusing on Lois.

The reporter gave her a grateful look before getting to the point. "We've done some digging. The man who came to Starling City, doesn't exist according to Luthor Corp." Lois informed them.

"We know. He doesn't exist anywhere. His identity has been wiped, or it was an alias to begin with. But there isn't any record of him working for Luthor Corp, or being the one who was supposed to come to the symposium that day." Felicity added, and Lois nodded her agreement.

"The vice president who was supposed to attend received an authentic looking email telling him it had been canceled." Lois provided and Felicity shook her head slowly, they hadn't learned that information.

"So Luthor Corp has plausible deniability if their involvement is ever questioned, of course." Felicity pinched the bridge of her nose under her glasses and sighed heavily.

"Ok, I suppose none of that is surprising. But why was _I_ the target? I've been searching for some sort of connection between myself and Luthor, some reason why he'd focus on me but I've come up with nothing." Lois gave her a look like she'd just said the stupidest thing ever and Felicity continued on quickly, "I mean, obviously there's him," she said waving her hand behind her to indicate Oliver, "but I'm very, very careful about covering my tracks. What if this isn't about Green Arrow? What if it's about the Queen's?"

Lois shot Clark a look.

"What?" Felicity asked perceptively, knowing there was something they weren't sharing.

"Lex doesn't exactly hold back when it comes to those that put on a cape or mask. His interest goes beyond obsession. If he's targeting you I'd say it's for the obvious reason."

Felicity's breath hitched as fear and guilt swept over her. If she'd somehow brought attention to herself, and by default Oliver, she'd never forgive herself.

Lois reached out to touch her arm and Digg and Oliver were in between them immediately.

"Whoa! Call off your guard dogs, sister, I'm not going to hurt you." Lois said quickly, hands up in surrender.

But Felicity could feel the fluttery beginnings of a panic attack. She needed things to just stop for a minute before she lost it. Somehow, in all of this, she'd never considered how much of a liability she was to Oliver.

"I just...I need..." she couldn't even finish the sentence. Oliver spun his head to look at her in concern, hands already reaching for her but she backed up further. "I need a minute." she managed to choke out and headed for the training room.

She shut her eyes tight when he called her name and held one hand up to hold him off, hoping he'd listen.

She leaned against the door after it closed behind her and shut her eyes tight, the first few tears leaking out against her will.

She kicked her heels off and began pacing the edge of the sparring mat, her arms wrapped around her middle attempting to stop her thoughts from taking over and failing miserably.

Oliver needed her, she knew that, but did Green Arrow? Were things better when she was just a friend, just a partner? If she was being singled out as a way to get to the hero then maybe she wasn't as much help as she thought.

"You've just about got yourself convinced he'd be better off without you, am I right?" a voice said behind her.

Felicity spun to see Lois standing by the door.

"Did you draw the short straw?" Felicity asked, wiping her face quickly as the other woman approached.

"I volunteered. Seeing as I was the only one in the room with experience in this area." Lois said with a knowing smile.

"I'm surprised they let you back here." Felicity said honestly.

Lois let out a small snort of agreement, "Yeah, you're a lucky girl with those two Rottweilers at your command."

"They're not..." Felicity began but Lois cut her off.

"Please. You're got them wrapped around your little finger. Quite the sight too, little blonde thing with her Greek gods for backup. Seriously though, how do you concentrate? Do they walk around here like that all the time?" Lois asked in all seriousness as she settled down on the weight bench.

Felicity threw her a look, "You're with _Superman_." said incredulously.

Lois tilted her head in acknowledgement, "True, but he'll always be my dorky farm boy first. And besides, he doesn't have to work out, so I kind of miss out on all of this." she said with a look around the training room. "Please tell me you've got a hidden camera in here." she whispered conspiratorially and Felicity felt her cheeks flush.

There was a long silence between them until Lois spoke, "So, care to share with the class what sent you back here in a pink and yellow frenzy?"

Felicity studied the woman she'd known barely half a hour. Something told her she could trust her, but she wasn't totally sure.

"Can I take a crack at it?" Lois asked, and at Felicity's nod she continued, "You think you're holding him back. That you're going to keep him from fulfilling what he's capable of. That with you around he'll be more prone to feeling instead of thinking. I mean, look what happened when you were attacked. He exposed himself outside his city. Now other people are showing up and asking questions." Felicity was frozen as Lois spoke because it was everything that had been going through her mind since she'd run.

"You don't want to make him lose focus. You want him to be able to do what he was meant to do, and you think you're just going to get in the way. What is your happiness compared to saving this city? And you've been here for awhile right? Working, and helping, and doing your part. So you think maybe you should just go back to that because it would be better for him." Lois paused and leveled her with a look she couldn't turn from. "Am I close?"

In shock Felicity let her numb feet move her to the bench where she sank down next to Lois.

"How...how could you know all of that?"

"Been there, done that, got the t-shirt." Lois replied, "Felicity, I cancelled our wedding the night before because I thought I was hurting Clark more than helping him."

"Wedding? So you're married then?" Felicity asked

Lois let out a laugh, "Depends on who you ask. We had the wedding, haven't exactly made it to the marriage part." Felicity turned her head and gave her a questioning look. "Long story. It was sort of...crashed."

"So how did you get past it? Because if someone is already using me to get to Oliver I can't live with that." Felicity said in a rush.

"People are always going to seek out weak spots." Lois said solemnly and Felicity flinched at her words.

"I'm Clark's weakness. I know that. So does he. But I'm also his strength. He can do what he does because I'm right next to him, helping him. Now, I'm not saying that's not a hard lesson to learn, because it is. And I'm not saying that I haven't been threatened, kidnapped, shot at, and thrown off of rooftops because of my place in his life. But I've also been there for him, kept his secret, protected him, put him back together when he fell apart, and loved him because that's what it takes. It's a balance. And once you accept both sides you'll be fine. If you can't..."

"You make it sound simple." Felicity said with a shake of her head. What Lois said made sense, but...she wasn't sure she was there yet with Oliver.

"It is the simplest thing in the world, and also the most difficult." Lois gave an unapologetic shrug.

Felicity leaned forward over her bent knees and rested her forehead in her hands.

"You have to stop blaming yourself for being targeted. It's not that you weren't smart enough, or clever enough, or aware enough. It happened. Get pissed at who did it, but not at yourself. You're not helping him or you if you think that way." Lois advised

"We're big on guilt here at Team Hood." Felicity said sardonically.

"Him too!" Lois exclaimed, "I swear it's like a required trait for these guys, always with the brooding." she bumped her shoulder into Felicity's, "And that's what you're there for. To knock him upside his head and talk sense in to him. And that's why I came back here, to do the same with you. Passing the torch and all that. Next superhero we find, you give the pep talk."

Felicity found herself smiling. She liked Lois, and it was a relief to be able to talk to someone who understood.

"Thanks, really. I appreciate it." Felicity said genuinely.

Lois wiped her hands on her thighs and pushed herself up, "No need to thank me. It's all part of what I signed on for. Now, how about you say we go and put mister tall, buff, and broody out of his misery. He's probably pacing a hole in the floor."

Lois was already halfway to the door before Felicity had gotten to her feet. By the time she'd paused to pick up her shoes the door was open and Oliver had practically bowled Lois over in his rush to get in.

"Felicity! Are you alright?" he asked, coming straight for her, not even letting her finish putting her final shoe on before pulling her into his chest.

"I'm alright." she assured him, "Just a small crisis of confidence. Nothing a good talking to didn't sort out."

He drew back to look at her, worry still creasing his forehead, "Confidence in what?"

"In myself." she admitted. He looked at her in confusion. "I was...I _am_ worried that Luthor is coming after me to get to you. And that he won't be the last one. If something happened to you because of me...I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

He studied her for a moment before he replied, "And how do you think I'd feel if you weren't in my life anymore? Because I know. I had to face that reality all too recently, and I know for certain that I'd rather have you with me than not at all."

She couldn't stop the grin from spreading across her face. "That's pretty much what Lois told me. Just needed a different perspective I guess."

"She said that?" he asked

"Apparently it's not exactly easy being _with_ someone who does what you do. There's a lot more to it than I had considered." her fingers played with the fabric of his shirt, as she let her gaze fall.

His finger came up and lifted her chin, "Not having second thoughts, I hope."

"No," she said immediately giving him a soft smile. "But it was nice to talk to someone who got it, you know."

The familiar flash of guilt crossed his face and she raised a hand to smooth over his cheek. "Stop. We've been over this. What happened wasn't your fault. And it wasn't my fault. But doing what we do is a choice and...there are things that go along with that, good and bad things. Apparently we can't have one without the other, it's in the handbook.

Since her attack things had been slowly getting back to a new normal. It had taken her over a week to feel like herself again, and even now she could feel some aftereffects from her ordeal.

She and Oliver weren't public, and they'd been deftly deflecting that particular subject. Content for now to keep their relationship to the lair or one of their homes it hadn't become an issue.

She gave him a small smile and brushed a kiss over his lips. "I'm better now." she told him.

His eyes grew intense as he stared at her, and she wished she knew what he was thinking. When he slid one hand up between her shoulder blades and clamped the other on her hip to pull her in closer she had an idea. His mouth slanted over hers, insistent and purposeful. The long slow swoops of her stomach she felt every time he kissed her hadn't gone away.

She knew she probably had a slightly dazed expression on her face when he pulled back, and the smug look he gave her let her know she was right.

"Think you're so impressive do you?" she said breathlessly, and the smug look grew to a down right lascivious one.

"I'd be happy to show you impressive." he half growled, making a shiver of anticipation go down her back.

She patted a hand to his chest and moved to step backwards, "Later," she promised.

He let her use his arm as balance as she slipped on her last shoe and then made their way out of the room.

Clark and Lois were talking quietly while Digg sat off to the side, his eyes never leaving them.

Nothing was said about Felicity's disappearance, for which she was grateful.

"I'm sorry we don't have any more information for you." Clark said quietly,

"We'll keep looking." Felicity responded, her tone sure.

"It's only a guess, but...knowing Lex's history, what happened here with Malcolm Merlyn was sure to catch his attention. Knowing him he probably admired Merlyn's actions. Hell he was probably jealous he didn't think of something like that himself. There doesn't seem to be any connection right now between Luthor and Merlyn, but I wouldn't be surprised if one came up." Lois suggested

A thought crossed Felicity's mind, something she'd look in to as soon as she could. Maybe there was a connection they hadn't thought of.

"Well, we really do have a story to do. Thanks for not..." Lois mimed letting go an arrow from an imaginary bow, "Anyways, if we find anything else we'll let you know." Lois's phone was in her hand and Felicity grabbed it on impulse.

A few quick taps and she handed it back to the surprised reporter. "There, next time you're in town you can just send a text."

Lois gave her a smile. "Thanks, we will."

"I'll walk you out." Digg said from the shadows, his tone clearly indicating it was time for them to go.

Lois said goodbye, but Oliver stood stony faced as they exited.

Felicity slapped a hand across his chest as she walked by him on her way to her desk. "You could have been polite."

"I'm not the one who came in here uninvited." he retorted.

"Technically I did invite them." she reminded him as she turned in her seat and began typing.

He grumbled something under his breath and then came to stand behind her. "What are you looking up?"

"Something Lois said gave me an idea. Merlyn Global's being sold off piecemeal, right? Well, I want to take a closer look at exactly who's buying all the pieces." Felicity told him, already distracted by what was in front of her.

She had a bad feeling she wasn't going to like what she discovered.


End file.
